Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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