he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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