I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
