It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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