just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
