You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
if only i could text you this smell
what day is it and did you see me today?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I wear drunk well.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
