I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
