maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
