I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
