i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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