Nicole vs. Life
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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