he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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