Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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