haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
