big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
