It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
