She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
A+ Viking dick
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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