super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
