Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
