my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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