she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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