i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he told me I talked like a deaf person
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
