I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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