Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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