EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
should my penis look like a turkey
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
