The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just pee around me
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
