Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
