She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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