People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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