i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
