I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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