bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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