If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
