I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
