using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
