i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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