Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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