he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So. Much. Porn.
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