So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
