It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
