Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
