My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
They took my balls.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
