I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Randomize
