I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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