you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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