Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
