i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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