Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
