Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
