oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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